I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
