I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
