So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
