Hey man sorry I got all grabby
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
