cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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