the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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