so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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