I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize