I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Randomize
