this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
