like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
