i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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