he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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