she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
