hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
