Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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