Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize