Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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