were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
