Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
