just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i can't believe i had my finger in that
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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