I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
