Non-Jews are for practice
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
God I need to hump something, right now.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
