It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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