I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
