We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize