yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize