tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
