We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
