Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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