Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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