....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
