you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
