I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
