the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
