What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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