Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize