I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
