Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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