if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
