Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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