On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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