I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
