You're my little dorito
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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