I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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