i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize