You work out of a Hotel?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
