It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
