508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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