I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
