I'm so fucking centered right now
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
