i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
