I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
