Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
