Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
