i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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