Buhtt sex?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
