all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Alive.
So much puke
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
